woa

So this weekend I did two races, but I didn't feel much like a racer during them. I felt like that guy you see occasionally and say "wow he doesn't fit in with this crowd but it seems like he's having fun, good for him". In my first race at Langemark it was more of a run then a race as the course was such deep mud even the best riders in the senior race were running about 80% of the time. So I was lucky enough that my shoe broke after about 200m of running and I had to remove from my foot then put it back on before every road section. In the end I would have probably won if I was aloud to start without my bike and just in my runners. I managed 20/30, and only a few Belgians went to the World Cup so Ed tells me these ones were probably the best. So now I know which one is the fastest runner? Okay second day was in Holland, I have to say bikes are number one in Holland. Their paths run beside the roads everywhere and there is a large grass island in between. This race seemed better at first the course only would have about 400m of running after the total 7 laps, so this was definitely about who was the better cyclist today. I was called up first being the highest ranked UCI rider in 23rd place. Due to my problems the previous day I switched to my other shoes but these ones have spikes which I managed to hit when clipping in at the start and I wound  up in about 3rd last place after it all, with fellow Canadians Karl and Yohan. After this I just started gunning it and trying to move up but I was going wayyyyy slower than the Dutch riders around corners and since there was almost no fast sections I could never keep up. I managed about two laps in 8th out of 12 before my horrible technical abilities started to really affect me. First Some random guy then karl then yohan then another guy in purple, of course everyone over here has the best stuff and is a member of a team so I figured this guy must be capable of something. We were riding together at the same rhythm and same circle of events. What would happen was I'd see daylight or the sand run up and get away. My plans for escape would quickly be foiled as we'd reach a turn and I'd slam on the brakes to slow myself down enough to not crash and burn and he'd be right back there on my wheel again. So this continued until the last lap, flat straight away, I get 5 seconds, 180 degree turn he brings it back in 1. Until we got passed by some pro's and he managed to follow their lines that I couldn't do without going way out of my comfort zone. So I finished up in last place. I was a wreak that last lap thinking to myself "Why am I here" "I am an embarrassment" "I am wasting money" "I should go home". But after the long car ride home I figured I am here I might as well make the most of it. I have come to realize that the only reason I am successful in Canada is because I am the fittest but I am too slow on the turns so everyone else has to slow down too and if I am behind I can just follow them. Today at the finish I wasn't even out of gas so technical skills are definitely my problem. Anyways I will figure it all out for the World Cup next weekend. I am going to Mol on Wednesday to ride the masters worlds course and there I hope to constructively crash and push my technical turning skills to the max.